I can relate to Simon Peter, one of Jesus' disciples. He was chosen by the Lord not because of any past achievements or because he was really good at any particular skill. Jesus saw Peter's flaws from the very beginning of their relationship. He knew how impulsive Peter was; how impetuous and irrational he could be at times. Jesus warned him about it on many occasions and ultimately, it was Peter's impulsive behavior that led him to betray Jesus. He also saw incredible potential in Peter and what could happen if he were willing to submit himself to the Lord. That's one of the really cool things about Jesus. He sees our flaws; he sees our potential, and he is able to blend the two together to turn us into someone who can bring honor and glory to His name.
It is interesting to read all of the gospels' accounts of Jesus' betrayal and death because you can piece together the "whole story" and see it in context. In Matthew 26:35, just prior to Jesus' arrest and subsequent crucifixion, there is the incident with Peter and his "foot-shaped-mouth" where he dramatically says to Jesus, “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you.” The statement was made just after Jesus predicted that Peter would deny Him three times. And we know what happened. Peter did just that. And the third time, in Luke 22:60-62, where immediately after that fateful moment, “the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said….you will deny me three times…and he went out and wept bitterly.” I'm sure Peter experienced tremendous devastation and sadness at his foolish mistake, and he knew he could never take it back. He would have to live with the consequences of his unfortunate actions, and he would never forget looking into the eyes of Jesus as he swore and uttered those last words, "I don't know him." He probably felt God would never forgive him for what he did, and he would not forgive himself either. In the "rest of the story," Mark 16:7 tells of these angels who are speaking to the women who came to the tomb to check on Jesus' body. They told them that Jesus was not there and to “go tell the disciples and Peter…that He is not here, He is risen." Jesus wanted to make sure that Peter knew He was forgiven; that he had been redeemed and that He still had plans for him. Can you imagine Peter's face when he heard that message which was directed to him? The mixed emotions he must have felt. Undoubtedly, he had a hard time believing it, but ultimately, he accepted God's forgiveness for his failures and mistakes.
The sequel to the above story is continued in the gospel of John, in chapter 21:15-17, where Jesus is with the disciples on the beach, fishing with them. This was after His resurrection and just prior to his ascension back to heaven. He has a private discussion with Peter where he essentially reinstates him to the position which He had designed for him from the beginning. He wants Peter to feed His sheep, to build into His disciples, training them to become true fishers of men for His kingdom.
15. When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” 16. Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” 17. The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.
When I studied this passage many years ago, I learned that when Jesus asked Peter the first two times if he loved him, the word he used for "love" was agapeo or agape, which is a sacrificial love, the kind Jesus showed when He died on the cross for us. Each time Peter responded with, "yes Lord, you know I love you," but he used the word "phileo" which is more of a "brotherly/friendship" type of love. Peter was not ready to impetuously commit to saying he loved Jesus with the "agape" kind of love because of what had happened earlier. The last time when Jesus asked Peter if he loved him, He used the word "phileo." Jesus knew Peter was not ready to commit to serving him at the highest level, at least not at that moment. He knew Peter's heart and how raw and fragile he still was. So Jesus met Peter where he was at. In verse 17, it says, "Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time." Peter did respond to him, that he did love him, but it was still in the "phileo" state of mind. He was not going to impulsively commit to something he was not sure he could follow through with. When Jesus asked him three times, it brought horrible memories of what he had earlier done to betray his precious savior.
The Lord showed such tender mercy towards Peter. He showed love and forgiveness and helped him to see that He was not through with Peter - no matter what He had done. Peter was no doubt repentant and sorry for his mistakes. He now lacked any confidence to move forward. He did not believe he could do anything for the Lord ever again. He put himself on that self-imposed upper shelf and felt completely useless. Ultimately, Peter's self confidence was soon replaced with the Lord's confidence and the Spirit of God would inhabit him greatly for the rest of his life. Peter was now very willing to wait and listen for the Lord's leading and did not want to do anything to hinder his relationship with the Lord.
I can so relate to this spiritual brother of mine. I'm just coming off my self-imposed shelf, although I do jump back up there sometimes when I feel sad and inadequate. What an amazing example of love and forgiveness.
Thank you Lord Jesus for your tender mercy and kindness you show to us everyday!.
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