A Different Pair of Glasses

I know not everyone wears glasses.  I did not start wearing them on a regular basis until about ten years ago, and it was only to help me with my reading.  I can drive without them and walk around the house without them, but I usually always keep them on because they do help me see things better.

 

I thought about how we all see things from our own perspective, and we don’t often see the “big picture.”   I remember years ago someone mentioning to me about tapestry and all the work that is involved in creating the beautiful artwork out of fabric and thread.  Often we will only be able to see the back side with all the tangled knots and stitches where various threads and colors are visible, but we can’t really see or even imagine what it’s going to look like until it’s done (if we have the patience to wait that long).  It is at that point where we can see how beautiful the tapestry really is as we stand back and look at it from the front (rather than the back side), from left to right, from top to bottom, to everything in between – we can see just how lovely this artwork really is --- in spite of the all the work that had to be done to make it look that way.  

 

Now of course, some of us would choose to walk away before it was ever completed because we did not want to wait, but if we did go back and look at the completed “work”, the “big picture”, then we would take on a different attitude and perspective about what really happened in the process.

 

Now I’m not talking specifically about artwork, tapestry, stitching, etc.  I’m talking about LIFE and how we perceive it because of the type of glasses we’re wearing.  If we are looking at life through our own perspective, we will never be able to see the reality of what life is all about.   Even if we’re going through a hard time, it is so difficult to have a clear and healthy vision of what’s happening.  We tend to become isolated, and self-absorbed and believe things about ourselves, our lives, our family, etc. that are not really true. 

 

But after all the trials are over, we can usually look back and say, “wow…thank you Lord for getting me through that mess, or thank you for taking that person out of my life, even though it broke my heart, or thank you for helping me find a different better job, even though I was unemployed for several weeks/months” –and many other things like that.  We don’t usually see “the big picture” until much later, but keep in mind, we CAN see the big picture before the end of the situation IF we choose to wear a different pair of glasses – the ones that He gives us.  

I can see this now so clearly because of the various things I’ve experienced in my own life.  I am learning that I need to wear these glasses while I’m in the midst of any difficult situation so I won’t be tempted to go back and see things from my view instead of His. 

Many of us have seen the movie, The Matrix, which came out in 1999.  I have seen it several times “back in the day”….and I remember the first time it brought to my mind….how to see things as they really are…depending on which “pill” you took (the red one or the blue one)…and of course, depending on which “glasses” you wear.  

 

Everyone was seeing the earth so much differently than it really was.   This guy Morpheus awakens this person, Neo, to the real world, a ravaged wasteland where most of humanity had been captured by a race of machines that lived off of the humans' body heat and electrochemical energy.  In the process of all this, these people’s minds were imprisoned within an artificial reality known as the Matrix.  They were living in a world that was so much different than what they perceived it to be.  Below is a quote from the movie:

 

“The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.”  (Morpheus in the movie, The Matrix)

Every time I think of all that went on in that movie, it makes me realize that even today, many of us do see things differently because we often allow these negative thoughts and actions to strongly control our lives.  Additionally, if we keep on focusing on these negative matters, it will continue to adversely influence how we live, how we think, how we feel, and what we do. 

 

Now keep in mind…sometimes the things we focus on are part of reality and the world we live in.  For example, if we watch too much of the current news on TV or the internet, we can become quite despondent because of all the horrible things that are happening in our town, in our country and all around the world.  If we overly focus on what we should have done differently in our past relationships with our family, our children, our spouses, etc., then sometimes we can become even more depressed and discouraged because of the things that did and did not happen.  We have to deal with it by NOT continuing to look back in the past, but to try and keep looking forward with those new glasses that we received from the Lord which enable us to see things from His perspective and not our own.   

A lot of what we look at through our own glasses can be truth and lies.  The things which are “true” can be used by the Enemy to remind us of what we don’t have and can so strongly discourage us from moving forward.  That’s when the Lord can help us focus on the truth that He has given us through His word: 

 

 “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Rom. 8:28).   We will become stronger people as we endure these hardships because His word says we “can do all things through Him who strengthens us.” (Phil. 4:13).

 

Our own glasses can also cause us to focus on lies which the Enemy can use to point out things that are NOT true about us.  He can whisper into our minds and say how bad, how worthless and how horrible we are.  He can cause us to think about all our flaws, our faults and all the bad things we may have done in our lives….but when we put on the right pair of glasses, then the Lord can help us to see that we are indeed His children, that we are forgiven, that we are totally different in how He perceives us, that He loves and cares so deeply about us, and that He has forgiven us for every bad thing we’ve ever done in our life.  

Of course, He does expect us to move forward and to make better choices and to live a life that honors Him…still, He also knows that even after we become followers of Christ, we will make mistakes, we will make bad decisions and we will do things that will disappoint Him – but remember, when we wear those new glasses, we are reminded that “if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (I John 1:9) and that we are to “be strong and courageous.  Do not fear or be in dread of them (the enemy), for it is the Lord your God who goes with you.  He will never leave us or forsake us.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

 

II Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort –who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

 

Another thing to keep in mind is that despite all these trials and hard things we’re going through, we can still often be used of by God to help and bless others as they are going through their own difficulties.  When Jesus was on the cross, He felt so abandoned, so alone, as he shouted out to His Father, “Why, oh why have You forsaken me?” although He knew He was being offered as a sacrifice for OUR sins, not His own…because He never did sin…yet He was still hurting so badly at that time.   Even in the midst of all this stress and pain He was experiencing, Jesus had a heart of passion to reach out to those who were also going through a hard time.  He felt compelled to ask His best friend and disciple, John, to help His mother, Mary, get through the hard times after He was gone.   (John 19:26-27), and then just before He died, one of the guys who was being crucified at the same time said to Him, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom” to which Jesus replied, “Truly I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.” (Luke 23:42-43). 

 

“Hard times” is something that we will all continue to struggle with throughout different seasons of life, but we will have to constantly remind ourselves to deal with these things in the right way – to listen and believe the truth of how God perceives us, to demolish the lies we hear from the Enemy and our own negative thoughts, and to ultimately deal with these issues in a way that will Honor God.   And when we put on these new glasses, it will help take our focus off ourselves and to see everything through His perspective and not our own. 

 

In closing, I want to share one last thing.  Last year, I showed this video to some ladies who were in a Bible study and I was teaching about this subject – seeing things differently from God’s view even when we’re going through “hard times.”   I, along with several others, had been going through some trials and difficult times.  I bought several pairs of these 3D glasses from a local museum that people buy when they go see a Cosmic Concert at the planetarium and had the ladies put them on while we watched this video on Youtube, where the band Tenth Avenue North played this song, “Worn.” 

I wanted them to hear the words to this song from a different perspective, and it really helped many of them “see” what I was talking about (it also helped me…) [smile]

Here’s the link to the video and here’s the words:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUEy8nZvpdM

 

Worn – by Tenth Avenue North

I'm tired, I'm worn - My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing
I've made mistakes - I've let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left.

Chorus –

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends

That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I want to know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn - Cause I'm worn…

I know I need - to lift my eyes up -- 

but I'm too weak - life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest - 

So I cry out with all that I have left

Chorus --

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I want to know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn - Cause I'm worn

And my prayers are wearing thin
I'm worn even before the day begins
I'm worn I've lost my will to fight
I'm worn so heaven come and flood my eyes 

Chorus--

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I want to know a song can rise - from the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
Yes all that's dead inside will be reborn
Though I'm worn 
Yeah I'm worn

Baggage Claims

This whole topic of “unresolved baggage issues” has become more obvious to me in this “stage of life” than it ever has been before….I just wish when I was younger that someone could have helped me to see and understand this whole subject and the consequences of not dealing with these issues.  Thankfully, over the years I have learned more about this, and I have worked through my baggage, and as a result, I feel like I have become much healthier (emotionally and spiritually) in my perception of who I am because of all that I’ve been through in my life, both good and bad.  More importantly, it is because I know that the Lord has brought healing to my heart and soul and has helped me become a “different” person than I was before. 

Now even though I have worked through these things, I sometimes get "reminded" from time to time about who I was, how I was, what I did not have, what I could not have, and all the other negative things that were in my life...but thankfully, when those thoughts come into my mind, I can usually dismiss them when I re-focus on the truth of who I am in Christ and that He is continually transforming me into His image.  That definitely helps me to diminish those adverse negative thoughts.

First, let me describe what this is all about.  I believe that every person in this world has “baggage issues” whether you're married, single, divorced, widowed, male, female, younger or older.   It’s how we deal with these things which determines how every area in our life will be affected.  A “baggage issue” is something that people go through as a result of:

1.  Some kind of abusive or neglectful problems we may have had as a child with a relative, friend, neighbor, etc.  I understand that some kids are not necessarily mistreated physically by a parent, relative or friend, but they can experience rejection, verbal abuse or neglect by that person (who, by the way, more than likely was suffering from their own unresolved baggage issues)...and it's sad because a lot of children don't know how to deal with these things when they're young or even when they do "grow up."
 

2.  Some of us when we were young kids, may have watched our parents go through some difficult times in their marriage, which may have led to a divorce.  Those kinds of situations can really affect kids especially as they grow older -- as they deal with anger issues, resentment, even distrust of someone of the opposite sex based on what they saw in their parents' relationship.

3.  Unfortunately, there are some people, who as a child, may have experienced sexual abuse by a family member or a “friend of the family” and that undoubtedly resulted in some serious issues throughout their life.  I have seen that if one does not confront or deal with these things – then it will inevitably continue to perpetuate itself in a detrimental way throughout their life and will adversely affect their relationship with their family, their spouse, their children and others they encounter, work with and care about.

4.  Hurt or neglect from a relationship, i.e., someone you dated in high school or college. Sometimes when we were younger and involved with a person and it did not work out for whatever reason – we will tend to feel rejected or hurt by that person, and we can have problems with forgiveness which can lead to “anger issues” and other serious things.  Even if we have legitimate reasons to feel hurt because of what that person did to us – we still need to proactively deal with these things in our life, or we will become just as messed up, if not worse, than the person we broke up with (or who broke up with us).  It would have been better if we had viewed the situation as:  (1)  “wow…so glad I got out of that situation before it led to a really destructive relationship,” or (2)  I see that it just wasn't “meant to be” or (3) I see that we were not really all that compatible.  But for many of us, we never knew "how to" do that or how to think that way "back in the day."

5.  Rejection and abandonment from a spouse that leads to divorce.  I have seen in many marriages that even if they don’t recognize the “baggage issues” in themselves or the person they're married to – then often it will culminate into a divorce.  The sad thing is that even if you have worked through your own issues while you were married, but your husband or wife did not work through theirs (because they were either not aware of them or not willing to deal with them) – then often it will still result in a bad breakup. 

6.  Another sad thing is that when people refuse to deal with these issues, then these "unresolved baggage" problems will follow them right into the next relationship, and will ultimately mess that one up too...and it will go on and on, repeating the cycle of people's unwillingness (or unawareness of how) to unpack their baggage.  These unresolved issues can also negatively affect their friendships with other people, their relationships with their children, other family members, their interaction with their neighbors, their co-workers, etc.

Now I know that none of us are "perfect" and we all have faults, flaws, problems, and other issues...and it's how we deal with these things that will cause our relationships with others to flourish and expand or become demolished.  When we meet someone that we're interested in, we should not be extra critical and look for all their faults, but we should also not ignore the "red flags" of things we observe in that person which help us to see that he or she may not be "healthy" for us.  Once we have worked through and unpacked our own baggage, we ultimately end up having a different perspective when it comes to viewing other people (without being judgmental).  We can have compassion for those we see who are struggling just like we did, but when it comes to "dating" relationships, we should have a better perception of what we know is best for us, and not be willing to "settle for less than the best."

Another problem with dating someone with serious baggage issues is that it can cause one to feel like they have to “rescue” or “fix” or “repair” that person – which is also an unhealthy way to deal with relationships.  That’s what the “enabling” or dependency type persons do when they see people who are messed up – they feel like it’s their job to “fix” them.  BUT…keep in mind, we can help that person, and we can be supportive of them without being enabling.  

As I said earlier, everyone comes with baggage, but it’s more important to find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack (and you can do the same for them). We need to be loving, helpful, supportive and encouraging, but we need to do so in a way that does not hinder or mess up the relationship.  It is a two-way situation where each individual should be willing to help the other person in a healthy way and to be willing to accept help from that person who is reaching out to them.

 

Another thing we need to do in dealing with the “baggage issues” is that we should look forward and not keep looking back into our past.  Too often when we focus on what “shoulda, coulda or woulda” happened, we are not able to see the positive things that are going on in our life right now, or we can’t seem to perceive that any good things may happen in our future – because we are so consumed in our thoughts about what used to be, or what we lost, or how we were hurt, etc. – instead of focusing on what and where we are in our life right now, especially as we know that God will use all things, good and bad, to strengthen us (Romans 8:28). 

I have seen many people who are my age (50’s and up), both married or single, who have gone through so many hard things in their life and have struggled with so much hurt, rejection, abandonment, etc. and they still don’t know how to deal with it.  Some think it’s too late to change or become different – but it is never too late.  With God’s grace and healing, we can each become a better person in spite of what we went through – and we can live our life in a way that will honor Him, and we can help others too.  Now some may need to go see a counselor to help deal with specific things they do not understand or that were extra painful and difficult.  We just have to keep looking forward and not be consumed about all the sad, unfortunate things we have had to deal with in our life.  We can't change what happened to us in the past, but we can be different in how we "see" what the Lord has for us in the future.

I know that as a Christian, I can see things differently now.  It's like wearing a different pair of glasses, and I can often see the “big picture” from God’s perspective and not my own – and I can also see now that nothing is ever wasted in God’s economy, that He will use even the bad things that have happened to us – to help us become stronger in our faith, and to help us reach out to others going through a hard time too.

II Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our 

troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we 

ourselves receive from God.”

So keep in mind that it is much better to unpack this baggage than to keep it wrapped around your life in an unhealthy way.  Keep looking forward and know that it's never too late to deal with these things, and remember that the results will greatly benefit you and everyone around you because the Lord cares so much for you! 

The Blending of Two Spices - written by Patti Stephen - 7-8-13

(I was inspired to write this because of two friends of mine who have a really sweet relationship.)


The blending of two spices
can yield such great results
if mixed carefully together
by two refined adults.

Who know that it takes time

For flavors to be blended

Who know that when all’s said and done

It’s worth it and tastes splendid!

To simmer slowly, carefully

In the crockpot of our life

To know how to enhance flavor,

To handle stress and take on strife.

To know when to add new seasonings

To this most appealing dish

As each element is mixed within

And they choose to take the risk.

They sit back to enjoy the fragrance

While the heat is slow to rise

To its full intense and flavored end

But still they must be wise.

What began with two sweet spices

Has now become transformed

Into a tasty style of art

And a new format has been reborn.

But they were slow, unhurried and took their time

As they watched it culminate

In anticipation of it to be “well done”

And knew it was worth the wait.

A Psalm of Truth and Lies

I visited this church with my son on Easter Sunday a couple of weeks ago, and we both really enjoyed it.  I missed this past Sunday because of my daughter's trumpet recital in Tally at Florida State University, but the pastor started a new series called, "Talking to God" - about the book of Psalms and how David dealt with a lot of hard things in life, like how he was upset at God sometimes, and how he did not always understand God or why these things were happening to him, but ultimately, the best part of the story, was that he always turned his heart back towards God in spite of the hard things he experienced. 

Well I listened to last week's sermon online, and the pastor asked us to write out our own psalm, as to how we feel about our life right now, to write about God and what we know is true about Him right now and then what we're hoping God will do in our lives.  I was really inspired to write this psalm (poem) below because I was encouraged and challenged by all that David wrote and at times I could relate to some of how he expressed his feelings and emotions. 

By the way,  I am doing much better now, especially as I have been putting the positive aspects of this psalm into practice this past week and I have been focusing on the TRUTH of God and not on the Lies of the Enemy... 


Also, just wanted to convey that when I wrote that "my life is such a mess, so much stress, so isolated," etc. -- It has NOT really been all that bad, I promise (smile) ... I was just trying to follow the mindset that David had in many of his psalms that he wrote and how he felt sometimes, even though there have been some difficult times I have experienced this past year. 

Dear Lord…
My life is like a whirlwind – it’s become such a mess.
I’m in a state of confusion and emotional distress.
You don’t seem to hear me -- You don’t seem care at all.
Even though I know it's not true... I keep up this heavy wall.
I feel alone and isolated so much of the time.…
I cannot sense your presence in my heart nor in my mind.
Why do You seem so far away and what do You want me to do?
to get You back inside my heart – to bring me close to You?
What have I done to make us distant and will You not return?
Or will I live my life alone -- will I never know or ever learn?
I know the Enemy has won in making me feel so bad
Abandoned, rejected from my past, I can’t help but become sad
I need to forget who I was before and focus on who I’ve become --
because my life HAS changed – because of what YOU'VE done.
I need to stop believing lies and focus on what is true
That Jesus died for my sins to help me become like You…
I've been too self-absorbed with all my hurts and pain
Instead of focusing on you and the heartache You’ve sustained.
I know when I reflect on what is true, about all You’ve said and done
And my mind and heart can be restored back to where I first begun.
When I choose to listen to the truth and push away the lies
Then I will overcome the Enemy’s attacks no matter what he tries.
But I need Your Spirit & Your Word & the loving prayers of friends...
All of which will keep me focused on Your love for me....Amen.

The Soul that He Sustaineth

I wrote this poem back in 1982 while I was still a student at Moody.  It is based on the scripture:

Psalms 54:4 - Behold God is my helper; The Lord is the sustainer of my soul.

The Soul that He Sustaineth

oh soul that deeply grieveth
well acquainted with despair.
thou dost know of Him
who has handled them
before thy heart
would weep or care.

thou dost know of One
who hears the pulse
of thy feeble, troubled heart,
who is touched by thy weakness
who knows thy end before it starts.

and soul, this One knows
how transient thou art,
and that thy life is naught but dust
He sees the depths of thy aching heart
and knows it longs to trust.

thy soul is consumed with maddening fire
that is guided by His hand,
yet He carries you gently
through the flames
to bring forth His perfect plan.

oh soul, be thou still and quiet.
rest. . .
for soon thou wilt hear and tell,
and thou dost know deep within
thy breast,
that He doeth all things well....

Forgotten Trust

I read this book Forgive and Forget by Lewis Smedes years ago which helped me deal with the forgiveness issues I had with my step-dad... and it did help bring healing to my heart... it also gave me the vision to see my dad with different eyes, through the eyes of Jesus - as the young boy that he was who must have endured his own hardship growing up.  I recently found this poem which I wrote back in 1986, over 28 years ago, and I remembered that it was for my dad, who was still alive at the time...it's sad because I see that so many people who live with unresolved baggage issues from their past, who rarely deal with them, and in fact, will most often wil continue to perpetuate those issues into the lives of their spouses, children, relative, friends, etc.  The Lord is willing to help us deal with these issues as long as we are...and He can heal us and keep us from passing it on to those we love or are supposed to love.... He has forgiven us and we can forgive others too.  It's a choice we just have to make.

 

Forgotten Trust – by Patti Stephen   10/10/86

 You fear only one thing . . .

that someday you will awake and be old and alone,
unable to care for yourself. . .
forced to rely on others, vulnerable once more,
defenseless, unsure, just as you were when
as a child you knew no pain
and trust was such an easy word.
 

For it was then

that your fragile spirit was shamefully battered
sadly ignored, taken for granted
and bruised by harsh words.
and you learned quickly to trust no one.
your choices were few, pre-determined by others
and you grew much too fast to enjoy
the loves and dreams of that sweet little boy inside.

The seasons swept by quickly

with more chilling winters than new born springs to warm your bones.
Now after many years of conflicting storms within
in useless attempts to ignore the scars, you try to forget
but a slow burning rage has consumed any
childish trust that remained in your soul.

 

With quiet resolution, anger has become your only friend.
and the little boy inside can no longer be heard or seen
unapproachable and distant, immune to words,
unable to ever be hurt again.
Your walls can be scaled by no one.
and those who try to get close
will find your insulated heart
braced with barriers beyond penetration.

Ironically, you have committed a greater, tragic offense

for the pain from you which ran.
And you have now inflicted on those within your reach.
The love that you required so much as a child
you have withheld from those who had need of it from you
and the insecurity so familiar to you all these years
has now been breathed into the very skin
of those who needed to know you cared.
The waste of emotions of lost years - -
if only you had been willing to forgive
and not forgotten how to trust.

Pleasant Pastures

I wrote this poem back in 1979...just a few years after I graduated from high school.  I was a single 21 year old young woman, living in Jacksonville, FL at the time, and I do not remember what I was going through at the time to motivate me to write this.  I just find it interesting and "coincidental" that considering some of the stressful things I've been going through lately in my life, that I just happen to find this poem while going through some paperwork, decluttering my home (which I'm getting ready to sell here soon hopefully!)   It brought tears to my eyes to re-read this, to be reminded that even after all these 35 years, I still am being drawn closer to my Heavenly Father who indeed does love me so much and does have my best interest in mind at all times no matter what I am going through and that He will never leave me or abandon me.  Amen and amen... 

 

 

 

PLEASANT PASTURES - by Patti Brand Stephen (7-9-79)

 

 

My soul has grown weary . . . and I thirst again for Thy pleasant pastures.

Cause me to drink from Thy river, oh Lord for I will find no peace within my heart 'till I am lead by Thee to those still waters once more.

for Thou hast searched me and Thou doest know my innermost thoughts

as Thy word as often told me. . .

 

fill me up Father, for my cup has been sifted and there remains nothing

but empty dust, dry and desolate as a barren dessert.

give strength to my bones as Thy word has so promised me.

Replenish my resources and lead me into the watered garden

whose waters do not fail.

 

Continue to reveal Thy mercies to me and let Thy silence

darken my door no longer.

Take the quiet corridors of my mind and fill them instead with

harmonious singing.

 

Let the peace of Thy salvation infiltrate my entire being

and may my joy be restored to me once more.

Reduce me to love and let me be content to be Thy humble servant

as I fall into slumber's arms.

Wake me with renewed strength that I might increase in my service

and love for you. . .that I might indeed walk and not grow weary,

run and not grow faint.

 

Cause me to hunger for more of You each day. 

Comfort and console me, dear Lord, as a mother comforts her child.

Dry my tears with Thy compassion and make me smile again.

Keep my mind stayed on Thee and in perfect peace

and let nothing come between me and Thee that will create enmity

or remove the hedge that You have placed around me to protect

me from the evil one.

 

Instead, gently take my hand and let my heart be reassured of

Your glorious promises . . .may I claim them each morning as I am led

through this valley of defeat

to Your green pleasant pastures. . .

grazing on the strength and boldness of Thy Word

and drinking from the well of Thy boundless love.