Not for a Moment Did You Forsake Me...

I am aware that I have always had "dad" issues since I never had a father who really loved me or who had my best interest in mind.  My mom married my step-dad when I was just three years old, and even back then, I knew he never cared for me, and he always seemed to resent me even as a young child.  It was quite painful and very difficult to live with this situation.

Thankfully, when I became a follower of Jesus at the age of 13, I was able to transition my perception and view of God as my true heavenly Father, as the one who infinitely cared for me and who would always watch out for me.  I remember keeping a journal back in high school, and each entry would began with "Dear Father" as I felt quite comfortable addressing Him as my "dad".

Yet even with that in place, at times it was still very hard for me because it was obvious I did not have a true, loving earthly father who would do anything in the world for me simply because he loved me.  For many years, I would struggle with rejection and abandonment issues until the Lord brought a counselor into my life to help bring healing to my broken heart.  He also worked through my issues of forgiveness towards my step-dad, which was a part of the healing process.  The sad thing is that even when I forgave him for all the things he had done to me over the years, I still did not feel any emotional attachment towards him because we had never cultivated any kind of father/daughter relationship.  I could never view him as my dad even up to the day he passed away a few years ago.

For many years I remember feeling obligated to buy him a Father's Day card, and how difficult it was to find a simple generic, non-emotional card that just said, "Happy Father's Day" (not too many of those out there).  I remember watching T.V. shows that had really loving, fun dads and wondered if people like them really existed in real life.  I also remember friends of mine who had great relationships with their fathers -- I was sometimes so envious of that -- and I could see how that would often trigger a deep sense of loss of that which I would never know. 
 

I remember when I moved out of my home the day after graduating from high school (yes, he made me move out and I was not even eighteen yet).   Even with that situation, the Lord helped me to find a place to live -- with one of my best friends from high school -- whose family welcomed me into their home for a period of time.  Later, He helped me to find a more permanent place through another friend who's mom and dad rented an apartment to me.  As the years continued to unfold, He opened the doors to show me just the right job, just the right place to live, the right church to attend, and brought me the best friends to hang out with -- the list goes on and on as to how He provided for all of my needs. 

The positive thing is that on that day, October 31, 1971, the God of the Universe claimed me as His own daughter, and He would continue to hold me close to His heart by providing for all of my needs.  Even now after all these years of having Him in my life as my heavenly  "dad", I can see how He has taken care of me, how he has kept me from making some really dumb mistakes and how He always had my best interest at heart.  Of course, there were times when I did make some really bad choices, and He was able to refurbish my life and turn things around for me in spite of my foolishness.  I see how even now He has protected me from continuing to make bad decisions by closing certain doors and taking people out of my life who were not be good for me to be around.  

These are just a few examples of how I have been blessed, and as the song by Meredith Andrews says, "not for a moment" did He ever forsake me.  Every day when I look around and see how He has intervened on my behalf, how He has kept me from walking down the wrong path, how He has continued to heal my heart by showering me with His gracious love, I cannot help but rejoice because I know He cares deeply about all that happens to me.  He has indeed been the best "dad" in the world and for that I am eternally grateful. I want to share the song, "Not for a Moment Did You Forsake Me" by Meredith Andrews.  When you listen to the words, you will understand why every time I hear it, my eyes just fill with tears, and I feel such gratitude for my precious heavenly Father who loves me so much and always will!

Here's the YouTube video of Meredith Andrews song,

"Not for a Moment Did You Forsake Me"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08s3GKRict8

You were reaching through the storm
Walking on the water
Even when I could not see
In the middle of it all
When I thought You were a thousand miles away
Not for a moment did You forsake me
Not for a moment did You forsake me

Chorus:
After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me

You were singing in the dark
Whispering Your promise
Even when I could not hear
I was held in Your arms
Carried for a thousand miles to show
Not for a moment did You forsake me
 (Chorus)

And every step every breath you are there
Every tear every cry every prayer
In my heart at my worst
When my world falls down
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Even in the dark
Even when it's hard
You will never leave me
After all

(Chorus)