My Sweet Baby's Breath

While decluttering and cleaning my room, I found this poem.  It was written about both of my boys in 1998.  Tim was around three and Thomas was almost a year old.  I have to admit it turned out pretty good and I don't mean that in an arrogant sense. 


Sometimes when I find things I've written from a long time ago,  I think.." Wow, did I actually write that?" I do remember writing it, but sometimes it doesn't feel like I did.  That's the cool thing about God-inspired writing -- i usually can't just sit down and write whenever i want to.  That is why i can say it's good - because He gave me the words...thank you Jesus.

My sweet baby's breath

so soft, so still and quiet on my neck.

His cradled form, nestled warmly,

so perfectly in my arms.

How pure, how sublime

this package of infant mortality

entrusted to my care for a time.

How vulnerable, how chaste

this slumbering bundle of peace

this awesome wonder before me.

I sit back in quiet reflection

from the beginning of his journey of

growth inside of me.

to the moment of his fearless entrance

to the waiting, watching world.

His reliance on me to sustain him

with my life-giving substance

to his emerging independence

those first exploring steps, 

facing the imminent conflict

between his need to be free

and my need to protect and nurture.

Finding the wisdom to known when to let go

as he gets up again and again

only to begin the process once more.

The falling, the tears, the comfort, the fears,

the loving arms that tenderly embrace him.

the slumber, the rest, and finally

his sweet breath, so soft, so still on my neck.

by Patti Stephen    9-27-98

No Good Thing Does He Withhold....

I have been going through a lot of difficult things the past few months.  For the most part, I can make it through each day, ready for the next day to 'bring it on."  Then, there are other times when I get so overwhelmed and discouraged and I feel so sad and alone, and I just don't know what to do.  

I have been a follower of Jesus for over forty years, and I understand and believe the basic truth that "all things work together for good to those who love God and who are called according to His purpose." (Rom. 8:28).  I usually have this in the forefront of my heart and mind, but sometimes during those precarious moments, my thoughts run rampant with a flood of emotions, and I just want to go to sleep and dream it all away. Unfortunately, that rarely accomplishes anything.  Even though it is so stressful, I am compelled to reach out to my Lord, to lean into Him for his love and support.  I remember that He is in control; that He is sovereign and that He has my best interest in mind.  I have to be willing to wait for His timing and not push for my agenda, and say, "not my will, but thine."  But even after forty years, it is not always easy to trust Him because I am  human and can be easily influenced by my emotions.  It is during those moments when I look back in the past and see how He has provided for me and remember that He does love me very much and always will take care of me and my family.  He has never let me down before, and I do not believe He will start now.


Right now I need to move from my house where I have lived for over twelve years.  It's a complicated situation, but this is one of the most intensely difficult decisions I have had to make, and it is an absolutely mind boggling process when I think about all that is involved: finding a suitable place to live for a reasonable price, packing up, decluttering and then moving across town.  It sounds simple on paper, but it's the unknown waiting part that causes me to become numb and filled with panic, worried about what is ahead of me.  It's that awful WAITING -- because I do not know WHEN the Lord will reveal His purpose for me, but I know it will happen -- in His time.  

I was reading my Bible today and was encouraged by the verses in Psalm 84, especially, verses 3, 5 and 11:

1. How lovely is your dwelling place,
    O LORD of hosts!
2. My soul longs, yes, faints
    for the courts of the LORD;
    my heart and flesh sing for joy
    to the living God.
3.  Even the sparrow finds a home,
   and the swallow a nest for herself,     
   where she may lay her young,
   at your altars, O LORD of hosts,
   my King and my God.
4. Blessed are those who dwell in your house,
    ever singing your praise! Selah
5.  Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
     in whose heart are the highways to Zion.
6.  As they go through the Valley of Baca
     they make it a place of springs;
     the early rain also covers it with pools.
7.   They go from strength to strength;
       each one appears before God in Zion.
8.  O LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer;
     give ear, O God of Jacob! Selah
9.  Behold our shield, O God;
     look on the face of your anointed!
10.   For a day in your courts is better
        than a thousand elsewhere.
        I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
        than dwell in the tents of wickedness.
11.  For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
       the LORD bestows favor and honor.
       No good thing does he withhold
       from those who walk uprightly with Him.
12.  O LORD of hosts,blessed is the one who trusts in you!


If He so lovingly provides for the needs of a mother sparrow and her young baby birds...then most certainly He will meet the needs of me and my children.  It's just hard to wait for His timing. Verse 5 says, "blessed are those whose strength is in You."  That brings comfort to me because it confirms what verse 11 says, "no good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly with Him."  It is a gentle reminder of what He expects from me.  And since I have the Holy Spirit residing within me, and because my strength is in Him, I know I have the ability to walk uprightly with Him every day, even though I have these emotional set backs from time to time.


Thank you heavenly Father for loving me enough to provide for my needs in your way and in your timing.  Help me to trust you and believe you.  I love you so much dear Lord and I am so glad that you love me back even more!!  Amen